June. June you are a fickle month. During the month of June I get to travel the emotional road of not only the anniversary of my Dad's death (June 7th), my Dad's memorial service (June 12th), my birthday (June 13th)and Father's Day (yippee...my dad's dead, as is my grandpa). Oddly enough, I still like June. It reminds me that I'm human and allowed to feel bad, to have dark days...or month.
This particular June is starting out with a bang. I did not get the job that I desperately wanted. I am now on a crazy job hunt. I have decided to go back to school, because I'm sick and tired of feeling unqualified and sick and tired of being looked over because I don't have one stupid piece of paper that says "yes. I am smart enough to fall asleep through most of my classes and still turn a paper in on time."
And to top it off I have a mysterious skin condition that I will more than likely have to have surgery for. Like I said...BANG! (I never said it was a good bang. It's more like the backfire of a car that wakes you up in the middle of the night. A bang that you smack with a bat until it's twitching on the ground.)
All of these things are fairly small. Nothing monumentally horrible about them. The thing that bothers me, that stresses me out the most is the fact that all of these things pull me away from my beautiful, joyful, brings life into your life with just one smile, daughter. (Okay so maybe I'm being a little over dramatic. but dammit it's my blog and I can be).
SO anyways, life is not easy right now. I know it will get better. I know that all of these things will eventually get easier...maybe. and if they don't, then I'll just learn to deal. because that's what you do. Life is hard, and you adapt. That's what I did when my dad died, and this is nowhere near as bad.