Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Morning in My Shoes

I seem to be keeping in some kind of order of writing random thoughts and then writing something about Julia. So with that in mind I give you the following.

Sun is up. Husband is off to work already. Julia starts to wake up. Please God, let her sleep just a little longer, please, please, please. No deal. Julia looks up at me with a smile that could melt the heart of the Grinch himself and all is forgiven.
Shuffle out into the living room with Julia in tow. Open blinds. Look outside to see what kind of weather we are having today. Think to myself I should really get outside more often. Maybe I'll walk around the park today know that I really won't walk around the park and will settle for a quick walk to the mail box...if that.
Set Julia down on her blanket by the TV. Turn on Baby Einstein. Walk to kitchen to make coffee. Realize that in two seconds Julia has managed to make a bee line for a forbidden object, bypassing all of her toys. Point out to myself that even at six months of age we are tempted by what we can't have. Play with Julia while coffee is brewing.
Coffee is done. Drink coffee. Look forward to the day when I no longer have to limit my caffeine intake.
Video is done. Breakfast has been eaten. Coffee has been drunk. It's only 10 AM. Brian will be home in three hours providing a break for me and someone to talk to who doesn't babble and drool. What do we do until then?
Julia takes a nap. Consider taking a nap myself. Look at kitchen. Make a sad face realizing that I can't take a nap because I have yet to invent the self cleaning kitchen. Use Facebook as procrastination tool. Never get around to cleaning the kitchen.
Julia wakes up. Find something to watch or music to listen to because we don't have cable. Regret the decision to get rid of the cable. Think of ways to convince Brian that cable is necessary. Realize that no...cable is not necessary. Put on something suitable for both Julia and I to watch. Play with Julia.
Watch Julia moving about learning to crawl. Look into her eyes and see the hope of tomorrow looking back at me. How did I get so blessed? Sit for a moment in awe of God's creation. Beautiful. Strong. Curious. Wondering. Happy. Loving Baby. Realize I've sat too long in awe. Pick up Julia out of corner eating a DVD box set.
Door opens. Brian is home.
Day passes into night. Waking turns to sleeping. Start all over again tomorrow.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Super Women of the world...Unite!

I have a lot to say but I don't know how to say it. I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm jealous...I'm interrupted by a crying baby, I'm sad, I'm happy, I'm in love, I'm in awe. I am all of these things at least 20 times a day and I'm exhausted. Am I bad mom for saying this? Probably not...just honest. Why can't we be honest about how we feel anymore? Especially women. Some how we have gotten it in our heads that we have to fancy ourselves super woman and we have to be the best...and I HATE it!
I hate how competitive I am with other women. I have to be the best cook, the best mom, the best wife, the best housekeeper, the best writer, the best Christian, the best leader, the best daughter, the best sister, the best friend, the best woman there ever was.
How did we get here? Women couldn't have always been like this. I mean they use to live in close community with one another. They use to help one another raise their children, clean their homes, cook their meals. But if some other women were to come into my home and attempt to raise my children, clean my home and cook my meals I would through a fit! Which may have more to do with my stubbornness than my competitiveness...though they kind of go hand in hand.
You might be sitting there thinking "oh my! Lindsey has some issues" which I do, but don't think for a moment that you don't deal with the same thing at least some of the time. I don't know a woman out there who hasn't been jealous or slightly competitive with another woman. Maybe she has a better job, a better house, a better a car, or better hair, longer legs, and all around seems like she has a perfect life.
You know where thinking like that lands you? Nowhere! Absolutely smack dab in the middle of the barren desert with nothing but your negativing to keep you company. And that is where I spend way too much of my time.
So what do we do about this problem of ours? I say we start with being honest. I know I've said it before but I'll say it again...we need to be more honest. Do you know how flattering it is to know that some other woman you are close to is actually jealous of you?! Now I'm not promoting jealousy by any means. I think it's a cruel monster that preys on us when are weak. But it nevertheless attacks and we nevertheless give in.
I will finish by saying this, if you are a woman and you are in my life, in a big way or a small way, I guarantee that I have been jealous of you and have felt competitive with you in some way. For that I am sorry. Jealousy never brings out the best in me and it certainly never helps bring people closer together. But I do hope to better myself by being honest with you about what I love in you, what I'm admire in you, and how much I appreciate you. Because if it weren't for the amazing women in my life I wouldn't be who I am today and I certainly would not be able to get to where ever it is that I'm going. You are all beautiful, and you are all loved. Thank you, for being in my life.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

For it's one, two, three strikes you're out, of the old ball game!

Today we took Julia to her first spring training game for the Arizona Diamond Backs. Sadly, we lost to the Rockies but I don't really go for the game... I go for the food, which is a good enough reason for me to go anywhere, but I digress.
Julia had a grand time! She slept a little and was adored by many, she was a perfect little baby.